ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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