I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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