Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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