I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
