My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
