In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
