so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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