T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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