im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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