this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I touched a dick in church today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
