Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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