doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
