Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
