Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
