That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I party with great urgency now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
