"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
