I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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