Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
