I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
