When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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