What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
