dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
being pregnant is like rehab
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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