i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
