What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
