we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
