We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
