Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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