Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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