Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
