i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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