Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
