so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
