kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
