Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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