I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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