Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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