hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
