Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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