I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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