Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
