i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
