Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
