When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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