Nicole vs. Life
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
