Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
