she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
