woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
