I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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