I want to stick my p in your. b.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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