if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
