She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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