Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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